Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Just Friends

Looking back at my older posts....evrything is about something depressing... I realized that i really like to express my depression when im depressed.....huhu....

DEPRESSION is a great motivation to keep my blog alive. =p

Today, the question that pops my mind which i could not be bothered with before is that can a guy befriends a girl and be just BFFs and nothing more?  I have no idea because i do not have any male BFF, and alhamdulillah I prefer it to be that way forever. -_-

If you are one of those fanatic followers of the old series F.R.I.E.N.D.S's, obviously the answer is a big NO NO. There is always this indescribable attraction btw the guy friend and the girl friend.  And i've heard many many stories, that they are just starting out as friends, expecting for nothing more, but eventually something did happen.

No two person of different gender can be BFF without one of them falling for the other. Hence it bothers me much to know the existence of this one person who seems to be quite a BFF to U.  I shall name her Miss X.  How i really despise this Miss X, only Allah knows.  And how it hurts to see the intimacy btw Miss X and U, is a feeling that i cant seem to tolerate with right now even though U have told me that you are JUST FRIENDS.

Im 28.  Im mature enough to think this over and not do anything childish or stupid.  Yes, for now I cannot seem to face the world, as everything seems so gloomy and blurry.  But it will heal with time.  I know my rights are limited.  U are not mine to control.  I can only pray and hope for the best for whatever which is coming that i cannot predict and that Allah will keep my Iman and guide me in the right path throughout the journey.  And hopefully I can be that faithful Muslimah and have a place in Jannah.  Having said that, I am sure the journey is going to be a rocky one.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

old memories..

you are here..but i dont feel you
you look..but you dont see
i guess that is what it means when your body is here..but your thoughts are elsewhere..

going through your pasts..i've regtetted doing so...
for i have found hidden stories, far too many that i cant seem to take them in..

knowing what i did was wrong..but i cant help to know and most probably hoping to understand you better...

unfortunately old wounds and memories were unleashed instead...

Thursday, July 7, 2011


Assalamualaikum :)

Terdetik pula untuk meluahkan perasaan di sini walaupun tahu tak de sape nak bace pun =D tapi tak kirelah, some thoughts are better written down and expressed rather than to be left just as thoughts which most probably will be forgotten in time.

So, the other day i was listening to this bit from the radio about unfairness in life. How we have contributed a lot in the Company. OT siang malam, hjung minggu pun terpaksa buat kerja kat office. Sampai kengkawan lain semua kritik kate xde life, a WORKAHOLIC. Dah la kena tebalkan muka dgn kritikan2... bonus tak dapat, OT tak dibayar.. Gaji tak naik.. Mesti rasa tak fair kan. Dan kebiasaanye kite akan mencari sesuatu / orang lain utk kite salahkan. Salah satu PESALAH utama adalah BOSS :p Memang bley dikatekan slalunye boss akan dipersalahkan... kite akan complaint job bnyk masuk, keje melambak tapi gaji tak naik2... padahal bos bley plak nak beli kete baru sebijik..

Well this is only one example which i can personally relate to. Ada bnyk lagi example2, as a student, in relationships, in a community etc. Basically, its about human nature that we want something in return for the goodness or the extra something that we have done. Macam kate pepatah, buat baik dibalas dgn kebaikan, buat jahat dibalas dgn kejahatan.

But if we think about it, kalau kita ikhlas bekerja dgn niat utk mencari keredhaanNya, maka mengapa perlu dipersoalkan balasannya? Apakah keikhlasan itu tidak ada? Atau mungkin kita terlau mengejar hal2 duniawi dan terlupa akan ganjaran / balasan yang mungkin kita terima di akhirat nanti. Sama2lah kita fikirkan2 dan peringat2kanlah seandainya terlupa =)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Understanding People

Understanding people is definitely not an easy subject. People are always changing due to a lot of factors be it within a short term or over a long period. However i've learned that to UNDERSTAND people is very pertinent, simply because we deal with people basically EVERYDAY and EVERYTIME.

There's this one highly recommended book --> '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' written by Stephen Covey. Its very famous. Buku ni dah lama dah publish, around 1989. But, to me, i prefer to recommend orang untuk bace another version of the above, which is --> '7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens' by Sean Covey (anak Stephen Covey). This version is way lighter and i can relate more to the examples given. Tapi still tak khatam lagi eventhough buku tu i bought in the year 2000 :p

In their books, they have also highlighted HABIT #5 - SEEK FIRST TO BE UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD. But the problem is, we always tend to be understood first. We always want to voice out what we feel and make people understand us. Understand our ways. Well, tak salahkan nak suruh orang faham. I mean thats like the whole point of getting to know each other. Tak ke? HOWEVER, i've noticed that this doesnt really work.

It is indeed very true that in order for me to handle things more efficiently, I have to firstly seek to understand prior to being understood. Rasa cam susah giler je nak buat sbb i've always believed that someone should always follow what they think is right. Gerak hati tu penting. Tapi cam selalu salah je.. Haha.. Hermph ... tak pe... ape2 pun kite memang kene trus cekalkan hati dan meneruskan usaha! GambatTe!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Leave Me Alone

I'm no pretender. I can't potray a happy face when I'm not. Don't ask me why because I just can't. Sorry to be a party pooper. I didn't ask for you to seek for my companionship. If you think I'm spoiling your good mood. Then just leave me alone!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Doa Seorg Kekasih

"Jika mahu mendapatkan yang soleh, kurangkan agenda menCARI si Soleh, tetapi berusahalah menJADI yang solehah. Jika inginkan yang solehah, janganlah cerewet menCARI yang solehah, tetapi berusahalah menJADI yang soleh. Bertemu yang solehah, solehahnya dia belum tentu kekal. Bertemu yang soleh, solehnya boleh berubah..kerana si soleh dan si solehah adalah insan biasa"