Salahkah aku?

Disturbing thoughts.

Was it wrong of me to have done what I did? All these while I couldn't help but felt very much depressed each time I think about it. That mustn't be a GOOD sign. :(

What's wrong with giving and not expecting anything in return?
What's wrong with spending for the benefit of others?
What's wrong with showing love to others more than they do to you?
What's wrong with being nice to people even though they treat you like dirt?
What's wrong with trying to forget the past painful events and try to stand up for what I believe in instead?

I couldn't shake off our conversation on the phone yesterday. You told me I SHOULD NOT ACT THAT WAY because people will take advantage of me. It was like "BEWaRE! EVERYONE OUT THERE ARE EVIL AND SELFISH. ONLY USE OTHERS FOR THE BENEFITS OF THEMSELVES" to you. And that I should always put myself first.

Another one told me that relationship with people should always be a two-way thing, where you have to GIVE AND RECEIVE. He said there has to be MUTUAL RESPECT. If you keep GIVING IN and GIVE GIVE GIVE most of the time, then that person is no friend to you.

Knowing that you are actually trying to give me advice, I didn't dare to speak up. All I could do was wept silently. How could you think such thoughts? Such meanful thoughts... But thinking about it...was people really taking advantage? Is it true people are that mean to that extent to USE PEOPLE to achieve what they want? Sangatlah menyedihkan if that is true =(